ahh, vancouver!

first, a quick journey-over story.

on the flight over, i found myself painfully squeezed in beside a new parental unit and their under-trained, over-coddled new little person. i stifled the sigh and prepared for the worst. don't misunderstand me: it's not that i necessarily dislike breeders and their oozing offspring. i myself have been almost lured into the trap of inflicting life on another being. but boy, do i have a distaste for the breeders who think the world should stop and bow low, because they were cruel or ignorant enough to introduce another miserable life into this thankless, overpopulated world. and they were unmistakably of this ilk.

for instance, they lugged on a carry-on bigger than the bag i brought for 2 weeks of summer camp as an insecure, over-compensatingly superficial teen. they had to split their bag 3 times before it could all be squeezed into the precious pre-xmas overhead compartments. and they asked me for the window seat i gleefully secured hours before check-in. you know, that kind of bullshit.

as i sat flipping through my terribly trendy magazine (i never read mags, but suspecting i would be getting books from santa, i found myself literature-less and so purchased "new york" - not to be confused with "new yorker." interesting articles, cleverly written. meh.) the breeder-chick leaned over my shoulder, perhaps attempting to sample a bit of the young urban hipster vibe? what the hell do i know. while this shoulder-reading thing has never bothered me (i'm more than happy to share the stuff i read with the world, they're reading too little of it as it is), i did muse over the number of people who would have been seriously irritated. well, in honour of all those people, imagine my secret glee when i flipped the page and the article was something to the effect of "Why We Hate Breeders Who Think The World Should Stop For Them."

heh... it's the little things.

___
and then vancouver...

well, let me just say how nice it was to be back. sure, i was there on tuesday and wednesday nights and most of my friends had to work. and sure i was a little more quiet and bruised than exuberant and sunny. and sure the parties ended earlier than later. and yea, a bunch of people were off doing their own family thing in provinces far far away. (ok, saskatchewan. they were all in saskatchewan!!) but it didn't diminish the fabulousness of it all! it was such a joy to see the intimates again...

i remember sitting there at one point, marvelling over these fantastic people i've been honoured to share the last few years of my soul with. i marvelled mostly over how fucking smart they are. is it a vancouver-thing, or did i just surround myself with stunningly brilliant people? even the flavour of the humour was different. like this one snippet...

my friend kristen (who may i just say as an aside lives RIGHT BESIDE callum keith rennie. RIGHT BESIDE HIM!! i'm trapped beside a colicky newborn, and she gets the man of my fucking dirtiest, adoringest fantasies. fawk, how lucky is she. sigh. ok, back on topic) was talking, and used the word "procreate." this is what ensued, a myriad of clever voices adding their bit.

"procreate!" i suddenly exclaim, "i like that! i use breeder, but it seems lately people kinda get their backs up when i say that..."

"that's cuz the people you know are breeding..."

"yea i guess so.."

"it's so canine!"

"canine?"

"yeah, "breeding." it makes me think of dogs."

"oh yea, i see what you mean."

"canine... asinine..."

"nein!" she interjects! "just say nein!"

rhymes! foreign languages! disregard for breeders! it had it all!! (hee hee) and note this all happened in the space of about 7 seconds, voices overlapping in their mirth and cleverness.

another favourite snippet happened a little earlier. lost in the tiresome riddle of my thoughts, i slumped in my chair and muttered: "i hate my brain!" quick as ever, greg chimed in "is that why you abuse it so much?"
they know me so well, bless their shiny fucking hearts. (grin)

so yea, that was vancouver. witty comebacks, clever conversations, scrabble and birthday cake for breakfast with miranda and karen (since they won't be here for my real birthday in may.. ahem), fancy morsels with ken at 'subeez' (where i once saw callum keith rennie studying a script, incidentally...), talkin blog with steph, busting a move (veins filled with $2.75 booze - gawd bless the backstage lounge) with kal and sid, and a hundred scrawled "you should read this book" or "see this movie" notes. gawd i love those people.
yep: it was nice to be back... : )

___
p.s. rereading this post, i though it necessary to add that i actually do love breeders. i mean procreaters. and their adorable offspring. thank gawd for them, bless them forever, and may they procreate unfettered for eons and eons and eons to come. bring it on! really! yay procreaters, yay yay yay! more babies! more babies! nothing could make me happier than a basketful of fresh babies delivered to my doorstep every morning. oh lovely babies, yay yay yay!

so no hate mail please. (grin)